I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
