I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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