yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
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We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
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It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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