i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize