This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
