so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
