You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
