Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
