he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
