Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
