Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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