We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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