Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize