I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
