fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
