I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
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Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
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I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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