oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
