Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
