i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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