i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
