that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
