yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You can't just leave with hair like that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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