we need to drink 2009 down the drain
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize