He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
