Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
