Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
