Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
