Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
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