I wish I could punch you in the face.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
