They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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