we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is Oprah even human
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
