...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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