i jhust puked up my retainher.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
