Pants 0. Shit 1.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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