i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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