Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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