why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
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you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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