Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
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The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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