honey bunches of taint.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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