I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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