she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
