he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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