is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
