First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
