Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
