It's just like the Real World with babies
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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