Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
