Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
