I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
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Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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