I wish my penis had an off switch
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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