I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
BRING THE BAGELS
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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