Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Me too!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
