i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
