never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she pinky promised me she was 18
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
