You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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