Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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