its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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