Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
