mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
