next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
