he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
