Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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